Last night, I went mobile becos I was going to bed. I apologize for running away. You made me think about the unpleasant traits of my personality, my character, my recent actions when that was the last thing I wanted to do before bed. Especially, after we spent the day drooling over that beautiful mixer and making cucumber waters.
I didn't want to go to bed upset becos it would just keep me up. That's why I ran away.
I ended up tossing and turning either way. What you wrote about cheating and crossing that line, I had already done that 5 years ago when I held your hand. I can admit that to myself now. And I guess I worry about reaching for your hand and it not being there one day. What if you don't agree with this approach I've taken and you'll decide to leave? What if one day you think I hesitated and decide that you're not happy? Last night, I was having trouble resting and I turned to him and said, "I'm not happy in this marriage. I want to fulfill my dreams and goals but I don't see you with me. You are a good man and you deserve to be the most important person in somebody's life." He continued snoring and I felt like I was one step closer.
I think a marathon is a good metaphor. I'm at the home stretch which I hear is the toughest part of the race. I refuse to give up.
